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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The chart below illustrates the information about people who consumes
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 in Five Australian cities for the past four
week
Change to a plural noun
weeks
show examples
 (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Hobart).
Overall
Linking Words
, the figures are given out in
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
. It is evident going to have a cup of
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 is far more common
except
Change preposition
than
show examples
 in
Adelaide
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. On the controversy, people that buy instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 that buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. As the bar
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
, Sydney and Melbourne
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 number. The
percentage
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 of people consuming
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
 was roughly 61% meanwhile; the figure for Melbourne was a little higher by 63%
in addition
Linking Words
, the rest around 45 % of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 that
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 in Sydney. The rest of the city which
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchases
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 is Hobart
then
Linking Words
follows
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
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 number is 51% and 49 %. In short, it can be in different
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the same at 34% meanwhile Hobart was highest at 38%.
Submitted by nongnanfarm on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, adelaide, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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