shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Teenagers find different activities for their leisure hours. One of these is shopping to spend their free time. I strongly agree with the view that young should invest their time in other healthy tasks

instead

Linking Words

of only buying

items

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the topic and will give a valid opinion in the end. On the one hand, Buying favourite

items

Use synonyms

is used as a hobby by many people. There are myriad side effects of

this

Linking Words

activity. To commence with, people waste a lot of money on shopping which they could spend on more positive actions.

For example

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of retailing that money can be spent on donations which would positively affect the lives of deserving

individuals

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as poor and handicapped members of society.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a rise in shoppers leads to inflation

as a result

Linking Words

of increased demand for

items

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

, in turn, causes more

individuals

Use synonyms

who cannot afford these necessary

items

Use synonyms

resulting in growing poverty.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are activities which are more healthy and more important than shopping and the young population needs to be encouraged to practise those.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

firstly

Linking Words

, young

individuals

Use synonyms

need to focus on healthy tasks rather than spending money, time and energy on shopping.

For instance

Linking Words

, youngsters are required to participate in recreational sort of things like sports and exercise.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, teenagers should participate in social work to help other members of society,

this

Linking Words

will result in a more prosperous community. To give a clear example,

instead

Linking Words

of shopping the younger generation should attend social work events to help weaker

individuals

Use synonyms

in the locality.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

, shopping is the hobby of the new generation.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in my opinion, they should be encouraged to join other healthy and more useful works for these are more beneficial to the community.

Submitted by drsanaghani on Sun Feb 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice
I am writing this letter to provide you a short feedback about my stay at your hotel last week. I was on vacation and I booked a deluxe room for 2 nights.
6.5
band
Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whilst opponents allege that public media has a deleterious effect on people’s lives. Opponents conversely argue that those websites have facilitated the method of connection among users. I am a staunch believer that communication sites are of paramount importance by enabling individuals to communicate with their distant relatives and mates.
5
band
Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.
Some individuals argue that authorities should consider educating people in all leves without charging them for money, given that people pay tax to the governments and all individuals right to have proper access to education. Otheres, however, subscribe to the view that university students should be charged for their education due to the financial burden they have for countries and providing financial resources for universities.
7.5
band
Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?
Nowadays most people are working extra hours at the cost of their mental and physical health, to make both ends meet. This is mainly attributed to the global recession noticed post-pandemic, resulting in lowered salaries and raised insecurity among workers about their job stability. This essay will further explain these reasons and discuss how nurturing a healthy work environment and an empathetic approach by organizational management can help reduce this stress among employees.
6.5
band
Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that IT makes people’s lives more flexible and much easier. While it is commonly held belief that it helps them to do their work tasks from home or wherever they are, there is also an argument opposing it. In my opinion, I consider that the advantage of online work is more than the disadvantage.

shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?