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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #technology
It is argued that
people
's lives in the past
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 less complicated without the advent of
technology
. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement because
with
Add the comma(s)
,with
show examples
 the advancement of
technology
, life becomes easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 in the present time. These are the reasons that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be going to
further
 discuss in my essay. Nowadays,
technology
 has helped
people
 in many ways
such
 as easy and fast communication and access to tons of information in seconds.
In addition
 to that, many
people
 will not
missed
Change the verb form
miss
show examples
 their loved ones because with the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of mobile
phones
Add a comma
,phones
show examples
 they could easily reach out to them.
Moreover
, with the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of computers and other
devices
Add a comma
,devices
show examples
people
 could search
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet
various
Change preposition
for various
show examples
 ideas that they need.
For example
, Apple company where it keeps on producing the latest with updated features of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gadgets wherein customers were all
estatic
Correct your spelling
ecstatic
 because of the accessibility it offers. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many
household
Change to a plural noun
households
show examples
 experienced comfortable living because of the latest
technology
. We could see houses and establishments are equipped with CCTV and digital door
key
Fix the agreement mistake
keys
show examples
 that would give
people
secured
Replace the word
security
show examples
 even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 are sleeping or away from their homes. Apart from that they could monitor the visibility of the entire property.
For instance
, it was reported with the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of CCTV
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides evidence and there was a decrease in the number of crimes and bulgers all over the world. In conclusion,
although
people
 think life in the past centuries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 fewer distractions without
technology
. I completely believe,
technology
 has brought a lot of positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
's lives
where
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it makes everything and anything possible and accessible in just a matter of time.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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