IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks be greater than benefits to the community and the young adult themselves?

#adults #period #work #people #community #adult
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Community’s
Correct article usage
A community’s
show examples
 social growth depends on its future youth and their unbound services towards them. It has been argued that all
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 must spend a year dedicating their time
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 voluntary
service
 to help individuals in need.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 the benefits of
this
 generous
service
 will surpass the drawbacks. To start with, the idea of voluntary work will have an
immence
Correct your spelling
immense
 emotional development in today’s youth. Study curriculum is not always about the courses you take, but
also
 about what you learn from it and how you apply it in your personal life. Unpaid work will give an opportunity to young adults to know about all types of communities and their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 hardships for survival.
For instance
, the time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 in a public health centre will make them realize the detrimental
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 conditions of people and their resilience towards it. Selfless
service
 towards humanity decreases the generation gap making
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 a better place. Voluntary
service
 towards the elderly people will create bonds, which in turn will benefit the young adults to learn from their past experiences.
For example
, they can decide about their careers after they interact with experienced people from various fields. To summarize,
community
Add an article
the community
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 will always benefit from the voluntary services offered as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 bring led
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peace and prosperity.
Additionally
, youngsters will
also
 learn the way of living and can inculcate
this
 practical knowledge into their study regime.
Although
 if youth takes disadvantage of
this
 free time from their college curriculum, it will
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
 to a major drawback
toward
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
overall
 development.
Submitted by Aishwarya  on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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