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Some people say a person’s success in adult life is the result of the way they were brought up as a child by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #success #adult #life #child #parents
There is a common social belief that the
success
 of everyone could be
according to
 how their
parent
 raised them when they were children. In my opinion, I really agree that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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kindest growth and development
people
 got
while
 their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 have influenced their future.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
people
 who
raised
Add a missing verb
were raised
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 in a wealthy family usually have a
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
for
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of
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 having a better job. It is
according to
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apply
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a good opportunity in getting an educational background in a
high quality
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high-quality
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 school and
also
 some
connection
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connections
show examples
 that
open
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opens
show examples
 another good opportunity for their future.
For example
, Maudy Ayunda,
one
 of
success
 actress in Indonesia, she
were
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was
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 born
in
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into
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 a good family and their
parent
 raised her well and gave her an opportunity to
got
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get
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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 education
in
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at
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 an International School,
thus
, she could
increased
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increase
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 her ability in speaking
english
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English
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
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also
 met with multinational
people
.
By
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Of
show examples
 that experience, she got it as
one
 of her
journey
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journeys
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 to
awarded
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be awarded
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 a scholarship to study abroad.
Nonetheless
, not a few
people
who
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apply
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witness their own fight in living their own dream without any wealthy
privilage
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privilege
 given from
parent
 or family.
Such
 as
,
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apply
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 Nisa Sri Wahyuni,
one
 of
awardee
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the awardee
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LPDP
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of LPDP
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 scholarship in 2022,
she
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apply
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grew up in a
middle class
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middle-class
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 environment but she could
achieved
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achieve
show examples
 her dream for study abroad by getting a scholarship. In conclusion, it will be easier to get a
success
 occasion in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future
while
 someone raised with some
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 from their
parent
, but it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 possible to be
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 by
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 without any
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 family if only we want to
strugling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 for the dream.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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