IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed much to the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor recommending someone in your community. In your letter •describe who the person is and how you know them; •describe their contributions to the community; •explain why you think they deserve the reward.

#newspaper #reward #people #community #editor #someone #•describe #person #contributions #•explain
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Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter in context to recommend a name that has contributed a lot to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I propose Mr Manoj Kapoor, he is a physics teacher from Ludhiana and he was my school tutor. He guided and inspired many students like me to become successful in life. He is serving the society for the
last
 20 years. He is running a study centre by
name
Correct article usage
the name
show examples
 of MMM, where he
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gives free coaching to the pupils, who are not financially well-off and cannot afford private
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuitions
tuition
tutors
. He has managed to produce a number of doctors and engineers over the years through his
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and dedication to
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
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 the common people. As I have explained earlier, he is not only providing a quality education to the poor students, beside, he
inculcate
Change the verb form
inculcates
show examples
 moral values in them.
Therefore
, his selfless service and dedication to
empower
Change the verb form
empowering
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 the needful people through education
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 praise and
falicitation
Correct your spelling
facilitation
felicitation
. I hope you will consider my recommendations and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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Grammar
Minor grammatical errors like 'falicitation' should be corrected to 'felicitation' for clarity.
Word Choice
Avoid repeating information unnecessarily, such as mentioning both 'serve the society' and 'empower the needful people' which convey a similar idea.
Content
You've articulated well how the individual contributes to the community by offering free coaching and instilling moral values.
Tone
The letter maintains a polite and suitable tone throughout, which is appropriate for a letter of recommendation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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