The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given flow chart provides information about the
salmon
life
cycle, starting from small to large
fish
.
Overall
, commonly there are three processes in the
life
of
fish
and 3 different habitats.
According to
the figure, It can clearly be seen that a fry whose body size is about 3-8 cm is the first step. To avoid bigger creatures that are eager to prey on it, the tiny
fish
live in a lower river but with fast flowing current and spends their
life
in the environment for 4 years approximately.
While
the fry grows over time, it becomes a medium size
fish
and stronger to adapt to the wider
sea
. In
this
stage, the
fish
called a smolt that has 12-15 cm in size gets ready to travel in the open
sea
and live in the
sea
for about 5 years and
subsequently
become an adult
salmon
.
Furthermore
, the adult
salmon
is a mature cycle
life
of
salmon
which is the time to reproduce. When the breeding age comes, the couple
salmon
leave the open
sea
and search for a place
that is
safe to put eggs. They go to the upper river with slow-moving containing reeds and stones. They hide the eggs under reeds and among small stones and the eggs will hatch in the next 5-6 months.
Finally
, the newborn
salmon
start their
life
.
Submitted by febriantyhasanah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, life, fish, sea with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: