The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given flow chart provides information about the
salmon
Use synonyms
life
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cycle, starting from small to large
fish
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, commonly there are three processes in the
life
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of
fish
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and 3 different habitats.
According to
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the figure, It can clearly be seen that a fry whose body size is about 3-8 cm is the first step. To avoid bigger creatures that are eager to prey on it, the tiny
fish
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live in a lower river but with fast flowing current and spends their
life
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in the environment for 4 years approximately.
While
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the fry grows over time, it becomes a medium size
fish
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and stronger to adapt to the wider
sea
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. In
this
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stage, the
fish
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called a smolt that has 12-15 cm in size gets ready to travel in the open
sea
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and live in the
sea
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for about 5 years and
subsequently
Linking Words
become an adult
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the adult
salmon
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is a mature cycle
life
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of
salmon
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which is the time to reproduce. When the breeding age comes, the couple
salmon
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leave the open
sea
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and search for a place
that is
Linking Words
safe to put eggs. They go to the upper river with slow-moving containing reeds and stones. They hide the eggs under reeds and among small stones and the eggs will hatch in the next 5-6 months.
Finally
Linking Words
, the newborn
salmon
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start their
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by febriantyhasanah on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, life, fish, sea with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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