IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to comsume less sugar.

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Most of the food we are consuming is having high levels of sugar ,which can be alarming as it results in many health hazards .
Due to
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this
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 overconsumption, the number
of
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diabetic population
as well
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as well
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as those with heart problems has increased in
the
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recent years.
As a result
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 of
this
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,many
people
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 opine that, if there is a hike in the price of these unhealthy products, there is a chance of taking these
items
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 in
a
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lesser quantity.
This
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 essay shall discuss
this
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 point in a
more
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wider way. First of all, increasing the cost of these sugary materials can have a negative impact on some other
people
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.A snack or a food item is composed of a different range of ingredients.
For instance
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,if we are considering a sweet bun, it is made of flour apart from sugar.So increasing the cost of
this
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 item will result in an increase in the cost of flour ,which can affect the common man, who is having bread which is made of the same thing.So
this
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 idea of increasing tax on these
items
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 won't be
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way to reduce
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 intake.
On the other hand
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,if we are able to educate the population about the negative effects of these sweet tooth
items
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,it can result in a much better outcome.
For example
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,if the government can conduct campaigns and seminars at the school level,it will be more effective,as it can build a much healthier younger generation.
Also
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, youth can pass
this
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 information to the older generation,who are not that
much
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educated to understand all these scientific things.Putting a statutory warning can be a good idea to make
the
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people
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 think twice before having these products.
To conclude
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, it is always better to impart knowledge about what they are eating rather than increasing the pay for these
items
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.Let
people
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 decide whether they need to consume these dangerous
items
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 ,which can bring about many health issues in the future.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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