shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.
Nowadays, some
people
in
young age really enjoy Change preposition
at
to
going shopping to fill their spare time, because they Change preposition
apply
belive
that buying something can release their stress. Correct your spelling
believe
However
, consumtive
habits like shopping Correct your spelling
consumptive
consumption
also
has
some Change the verb form
have
disanvantages
. In Correct your spelling
disadvantages
this
essay, I will explain more about it and give alternative activities to young
generation to enjoy their spare time.
There are some disadvantages Correct article usage
the young
from
shopping Change preposition
to
behavior
in Change the spelling
behaviour
young
generation. Add an article
the young
To begin
with, shopping could bring dissipation for some people
. It is hard to manage the money, especially when you were young, when they see the discount sign, it could make them buy something they does
not need. Change the verb form
do
For
example
when they went to the Add a comma
,example
mall
to shopping
Replace the word
shop
,
and Remove the comma
apply
sees
the buy two get three sign, most Correct subject-verb agreement
see
peolple
would Correct your spelling
people
be buy
two pieces of items to get the free one, in Change the verb form
buy
fact
they spend more money Add a comma
,fact
to
something they Change preposition
on
does
not need. Change the verb form
do
Second,
when they go to the mall
or just scrolling
through their phone to do online shopping, they could spend hours without Wrong verb form
scroll
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
relize
. When they searching for something, it is Correct your spelling
realize
realise
imposibble
to not look at other things. For Correct your spelling
impossible
instace
, they went to the Correct your spelling
instance
mall
to buy clothes,
but ended up Remove the comma
apply
also
looking for shoes and bags and without they relize
they drown in shopping Correct your spelling
realize
realise
activity
untill
the Correct your spelling
until
mall
almost close.
Beside
shopping, there are some activities that Replace the word
Besides
young
generation could do to spend their time. The first one would be Correct article usage
the young
Add an article
a sport
sport
. Not only Fix the agreement mistake
sports
sport
could be enjoyable
Add an article
an enjoyable
activity
for some people
, but also
bring health to their body. For example
, white water sport
like rafting Fix the agreement mistake
sports
also
fun Add a missing verb
are also
activity
to do with their friends and it could bring health too because they have to walk to the starting point and it Fix the agreement mistake
activities
usually
quite far. Add a missing verb
is usually
Next,
travelling could also
become another favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
activity
thing to do. It is makes
young Change the verb form
makes
people
to
see another part of the world and they could learn Change the verb form
apply
some
cultures. Change preposition
about some
Let
say they went to another country, not only they would see Add a missing verb
Let's
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
a traditional
performance
, but Fix the agreement mistake
performances
also
they could taste the foods there.
To conclude
, I believe that people
in young
generations should Correct article usage
the young
be encourage
to do other activities rather than shopping, Change the verb form
be encouraged
such
as sport
and travelling. Because as we know shopping has some disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
to
young Change preposition
for
people
.Submitted by emailduringexcersice on
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.