It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is essential for
people
Use synonyms
to make some risky moves in their careers,
as well as
Linking Words
in their individual life.
Although
Linking Words
taking
risks
Use synonyms
may affect some
people
Use synonyms
in short term, it allows them to create new opportunities and I believe
this
Linking Words
advantage far outweighs any potential drawbacks. Making a risky
move
Use synonyms
may hurt
people
Use synonyms
in short term because of an obstacle they face. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, young
adults
Use synonyms
who still receive money from their parents may lose their comfort zone when they stop relying on their parent's money in order to be free from parental control and
move
Use synonyms
out of their homes to make their own life.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in careers,
people
Use synonyms
who make a decision to change their job may face the challenge of a big pay cut.
However
Linking Words
, I don't think that a short-term sacrifice should be considered a major downside in life because it can pay off greatly in the long run. On the positive side,
risks
Use synonyms
can bring good opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
adults
Use synonyms
who are ready to take care their selves didn’t
move
Use synonyms
out of their homes because they are afraid to lose financial support from their families, they would not grow as real
adults
Use synonyms
and couldn’t manage their selves effectively when they have to stay alone.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
adults
Use synonyms
who take
risks
Use synonyms
from leave their homes to take care their selves when they are ready,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fully
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
and might find something
Correct pronoun usage
that means
show examples
means
Replace the word
meaningful
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their lives. And
also
Linking Words
, the same with
people
Use synonyms
who change the job to do something
satisfied
Correct pronoun usage
that satisfied
show examples
them. They may gain a happier work-life balance or nice peers that no money can guarantee. And
this
Linking Words
will make them help feel a sense of fulfilment which keep
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
and have the potential to work.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may get promoted because of their potential from their real passion. That’s why I think making a risky
move
Use synonyms
is extremely important as it makes life-changing. In conclusion, even though
people
Use synonyms
may
hurt
Add a missing verb
be hurt
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
short-term challenges, the benefit of taking
risks
Use synonyms
will affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life-changing opportunities in long run and
this
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the advantage far outweighs the disadvantages.
Submitted by Taninnuch.tha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: