IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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While
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 the term
work
Use synonyms
-life balance is a common topic nowadays that a massive number of
people
Use synonyms
 talk about, they tend to implement
this
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 idea into their
work
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 environment. Balancing
work
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 and life is extremely essential for
people
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,
therefore
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this
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 essay will discuss the method that can be used to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance. On the one hand, it is normal that
people
Use synonyms
 struggle to earn money from employers and
work
Use synonyms
 as best as they can to accomplish their job desks
as well as
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 they need a lot of effort to deal with, even doing tasks at home.
However
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 they have
also
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 their own life as humans, not workers, so they have to put
great
Change preposition
in great
show examples
 managing
time
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 skills when they must finish their responsibilities and do fun things.
For instance
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, My sibling is working in a finance company and told me that when they have many tasks, he prefers finishing them at the same
time
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 at the office.
Therefore
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, he has a lot of
time
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 to spend with his family without any
work
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 distractions.
On the other hand
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, yuppies these days more pay attention to
an emotional issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
emotional issues
an emotional issue
show examples
. Because of the excessive pressure of tasks and the
work
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 targets of the company affect of course to the employees and there are some cases that many of them get sick
due to
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 the fact that they are tired
then
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, they must take a rest for a
while
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. To solve these, applying
work
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-life balance in daily
work
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 activity is paramount to increase the progress of workers. When the rest
time
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 comes, utilize the
time
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 to do enjoyable activities which are fun
such
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 as going to enjoy natural fresh air, going
to
Change preposition
on
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 holiday at weekend or just sleeping at home.
As a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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people
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 will feel more
relax
Change the form of the verb
relaxed
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, fresh, and healthy
as well as
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 be ready to
work
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 with high motivation.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion, I truly believe that working and life can be done with their own devoted
time
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. Making them balanced can influence workers in many ways
such
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 as motivation, good
emotion
Replace the word
emotional
show examples
 and physical health and so on.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
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