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Writing Samples
Band 3

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #atlantic #visit
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Nowadays tourists are
prefering
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preferring
 more adventurous places, where conditions are more challenging as the Sahara or
South
Correct article usage
the South
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 Pole. There are lots of pros and cons for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adventurous visitors to go to places like these. First of all, the biggest advantage of
this
Linking Words
 type of
excursions
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excursion
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 is, the positive impact
for
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on
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 the
participants
Change to a genitive case
participant's
participants'
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 self-confidence that
the
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apply
show examples
participation
of
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in
show examples
 these
type
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types
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 of excursions can
caused
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cause
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.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 the capability
of
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to
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survive
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surviving
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 these expeditions
also
Linking Words
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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 the
paricipants
Correct your spelling
participants
 self-esteem. Thankfully
for
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of
show examples
 the gained experience,
as
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apply
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surviving in the middle of the nowhere, these people
also
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 can face to
chalenges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 much easier after
then
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.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
Linking Words
 lots of disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 adventurous expeditions.
To survive
Fix the infinitive
Survive
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at
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in
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 the Sahara's
scroaching
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scorching
encroaching
scratching
 sun with a limited
water-amount
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water amount
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 is risky,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 can be life-threatening. But not just the limited food and water source can be challenging, coping with the
inhabitat
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inhabitants
also
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 can cause unpredicted and unkind surprises, when a person easily can find
itself
Correct pronoun usage
himself
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 in a really dangerous situation.
Also
Linking Words
 visiting particular areas of our planet without
a
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apply
show examples
scientific knowledge can cause harm to our environment and the visit can
also
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 affect negatively
to
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apply
show examples
specific species,
Correct word choice
and endangerous
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endangerous
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dangerous
endangers
 animals as can disturb their living.
Overall
Linking Words
 my opinion is visiting places with
chalenging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 conditions like these
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to be prohibited without
an
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apply
show examples
expertise
Replace the word
expert
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 accompany, who have the required knowledge to survive and remind the
travelles
Correct your spelling
travellers
traveller
 to protect the environment and obey the rules of the local wildlife,national parks and governments.
Submitted by cs.zsuzsi85 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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