IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

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In the present time, many individuals want to create their own companies,
although
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 a few decades ago, a vast majority of people worked in companies.In
this
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 essay, I will highlight the main reason for
this
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 change. I will
also
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 highlight some disadvantages of the attitude.
To begin
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 with, there are a few main reasons people might like to work for themselves.
Firstly
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,
this
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 might be possible to earn a lot of money and take more opportunities.
Secondly
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, they have no work burden or they can make decisions on their own behalf.
For instance
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, if someone works in an organization, he has no authority to be absent from duty without leave. But that person who works for themselves has the authority to take leave without anyone's permission. They can work whenever their mind asks them to do.
Additionally
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, there are
also
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 many drawbacks of self-employed.
Firstly
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, there is a big risk to create their own company.
For example
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, nowadays everyone creates their own company or product. But there is less possibility
to be
Verb problem
of
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 success because there is a lot of competition in society. They
also
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 lose all their savings to build a successful organization.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 risk, they have
also
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 health issues
such
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 as high blood pressure, anxiety or sometimes
in
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apply
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threat got a heart attack.
According to
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 what we see there are some major disadvantages.
To sum up
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, there are many facets of
this
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 kind of industry. If someone wants to create their company, they should think a number of things before it.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating a more logical structure by organising ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Link your ideas with appropriate connectors and sequencing phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Ensure each paragraph expands on a single idea to maintain focus and clarity.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, aim to provide a more complete response to the prompt by addressing both aspects of the question (reasons for self-employment and disadvantages) more equally and in greater depth. Incorporate clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples, and ensure that your conclusion encapsulates all the main points made within the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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