In some countries celebrities complain about way about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Privacy is essential
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need

It seems that needs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I believe that every person including celebrities should have their own privacy and can choose which part of their private
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
to be shared and open
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
. Some may argue that as a public
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures

It seems that figure may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their
professioal
Correct your spelling
professional

If you don’t want professioal to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, their private
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Add a missing verb
are also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
for
public's
Change noun form
public

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
entertaintment
Correct your spelling
entertainment

If you don’t want entertaintment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

goes as a
consequency
Correct your spelling
consequence

If you don’t want consequency to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for their fame. As far as I know, many people in different countries have
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of opinion. Public
always
Add a missing verb
is always

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
curious about their
idol's
Fix the agreement mistake
idols'

It seems that idol's may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
private
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though

If you don’t want eventhough to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

sometimes their private
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do

It seems that the verb does does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
not affect their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Personally speaking, as long as they
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

professionally, their private issues would not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
matter. Without a doubt personal area is important because I believe every human being have their own secret that they did not want to share.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when the secret
come
Change the verb form
comes

The verb come does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
out to
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
there are some kind of uncomfortable feelings that can affect someone's mental health if they are not ready with the responses. The watcher will have some different views on the issue, some will
saying
Wrong verb form
say

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb saying. Consider changing it.

show examples
good
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others will talking bad. In conclusion, as privacy is a basic human need it is important to respect someone's private
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life

It seems that lives may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Additionally. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
if
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
private
Replace the word
privacy

The word private doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
issues are not affecting
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
professional
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, we as
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
should not
trying
Change the verb form
try
be trying

The verb trying after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
so hard to dig down
what
Change preposition
into what

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
is happening in an idol's private
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life

It seems that lives may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: