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Today life expectancy of older people is much higher than before some people believe that older people should continue to work to what extent do you agree with this notion

#life #expectancy #people #work #notion
The life expectancy of older people has increased over the past few decades
due to
 advanced technology in science.owing to
this
, many individuals opine that older
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 should continue to indulge in
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 field rather than taking resting at their home
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with
this
 notion and related information will be articulated in the forthcoming paragraphs. Undeniably,there are multifarious benefits to
elder
Add an article
the elder
an elder
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 to continue
work
 in any
feild
Correct your spelling
field
.The first and foremost benefit is that they can feel healthy as many families nowadays are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
work
 and they do not have time to spend with older
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of that
continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
 to
work
 can help to protect
from
Correct pronoun usage
them from
show examples
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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such
 as
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
as well as
 depression.
Apart from
this
, they can
also
 deliver some skills to younger aspirants who recently entered in
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
 field .
Furthermore
,from the point of
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 view it will
also
 help to boost the production of goods which can increase the economy of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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 not only
this
 but
also
 it is
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they have less need to spend the funds on medical, pensions
as well as
 other sectors.which can reduce the
fanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden on
government
 as they can spend into
another productive ways
Replace the adjective
another productive way
other productive ways
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that
continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
 to
work
 can be beneficial for both older
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 in numerous ways.
Submitted by kumarsahil159357 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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