It is important for public money to be spent on promoting healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than spending money treating people who are ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, government organizations and non-government funds always try to promote physical and mental well-being to protect
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
diseases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by investing
public
Change preposition
in public

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital

It seems that capitals may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other authorities use
these public
Change the determiner
this public money

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun money. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to treat
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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patients who are suffering from illnesses. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I suppose that
governers
Correct your spelling
governors

The word governers doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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focus and waste
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

before
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

threaten
from
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
diseases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contemporary trends in the healthcare system, so many new
diseases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

appear
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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that
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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us.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, diabetes, cancer and cholesterol, cause to make a huge impact on
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. These
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronic

If you don’t want chronical to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

diseases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can
be control
Change the verb form
be controlled

It appears that the form of the verb control does not work with be in this sentence.

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by increasing the awareness of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles

It seems that lifestyle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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among
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As an example, promoting walking, cycling and sports will help to decrease the number of patients who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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suffer
Change the form of the verb
suffered

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb suffer. Consider changing it.

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diabetes
Change preposition
from diabetes

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and cholesterol. The best example is using iconic persons for ads which promote the steps to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Covid-19. Though
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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has to spend more public
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it
save
Change the verb form
saves

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb save are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which may be used to take expensive medicines and vaccines.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has advantages
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

drawbacks
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

try to take the side benefits by wasting
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without
it
Change the pronoun
its

It appears that the personal pronoun it should be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

show examples
use to develop the health system.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some illnesses can not
be prevent
Change the verb form
be prevented

It appears that the form of the verb prevent does not work with be in this sentence.

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,
specially
Replace the word
especially

The word specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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the
diseases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which
occurring
Wrong verb form
occur

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb occurring. Consider changing it.

show examples
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of genetic problems.
Instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of preventing illnesses,
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of health have to purchase medication,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase otherwise. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
it will cause to loss of lives.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I can conclude that both ideas have
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits

If you don’t want benifits to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

disadvantages
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. But, I think most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Add an article
the people

The phrase most of people may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

show examples
can survive
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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disease, if we
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
Change preposition
of them

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
by using healthcare promotion campaigns.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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