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Band 5.5

it is better to go out for a live performances ( show or concert ) than stay at home watching Tv or using the computer to what extent do you agree or disagree

#live #performances #show #concert #home #tv #computer
Stying
Correct your spelling
Staying
show examples
 at
home
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these busy days is
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
 good idea as most of the day people used to work outside the
home
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I'm going to discuss both points of view and I will express my opinion. Going out of
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 to attend shows or concerts might be fun for those who
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
 the majority of the day
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
 as they can change their mood and have a real experience.
However
, most of
ours
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 nowadays work a lot in our
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 so spending
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 free
time
 with family
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 is
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 better idea in my opinion. Attending performances might cost
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 from paying
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 tickets to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 a way of transportation and
some
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
time
 having
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
while
watvhing
Correct your spelling
watching
 the show these all can affect your budget, on top of that, the show might dislike the show and feel bored after all purchases and you will not be able to return your money back. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to all types of shows concerts and even courses is available online;
therefore
, you can attend whatever and whenever you want
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 and
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your television,
this
 will
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 you
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money and will facilitate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 the
attandence
Correct your spelling
attendance
,
for instance
, no
ticets
Correct your spelling
tickets
 needed , you don't need to wear new modern clothes and you can
also
 change what you are watching
easiy
Correct your spelling
easily
easy
 if it didn't attracts you.
Furthermore
,
stying
Correct your spelling
staying
show examples
 at
home
 will
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 your
time
 which is the most important thing.
To conclude
, it's argued that weather watching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shows or concerts
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the TV or computer is better than attending
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I believe that using technology is way better than going to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place in order to participate in any type of entertainment. It will keep your
time
 and money.
Submitted by amar0755.aa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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