Essay topics: Some people think that the government should give money to creative people, such as artists and musicians. To what extent do you agree?

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Incentivising art is important,

however

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, wasting public resources by giving away money to artists alternately enhancing the health system and the country is foolish. I agree that the boons of infusing cash in culture are notable in the region's economy, notwithstanding the way mentioned in the question is not reasonable.

Moreover

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, one example of a wise investment in culture is South Korea.

Instead

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of giving cash to artists, the country focused on exporting its music and soap operas worldwide. As an outcome, people wanted to go to the nation which boosted their tourism,

this

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ensued

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resulted

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in the growth of wealth of the population since more jobs were created to attend to the demand of tourists. Nowadays, Korean drama and K-pop (Korean popular music) are the world's phenomenon. In

this

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context, the advertisement of cultural customs improves the economy and indirectly boosts the

artist's

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artists

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and musicians' careers.

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, an example that giving monetary help directly to an artist is not wise is Brazil. President Lula's strategy of investing in

this

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area made those creators richer, and the population poorer and did not impact the art.

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, the approach mentioned previously is contradictory, because how is the government supposed to choose whom they will invest? How many people will receive

this

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benefit? If those points are not planned other prime quotas of investment,

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, health, urban development and education will suffer a fall,

hence

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impacting the entire society. In conclusion, is utterly necessary to consider the boons and pitfalls of

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approach, because it can have a powerful negative influence on the community.

heyohbruvMon Feb 06 2023

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task response

The response addresses the topic but lacks clarity and consistency in argumentation. It tends to deviate from the focus at times, leading to a less than complete response.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt at logical progression and use of cohesive devices, but there are inconsistencies and some illogical connections. The introduction and conclusion can be strengthened to better frame the essay.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government grants
subsidies
cultural heritage
artistic freedom
economic stimulus
cultural diversity
public funding
tourism attraction
financial support
creative industries
allocate resources
essential sectors
direct societal benefits

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Essay topics: Some people think that the government should give money to creative people, such as artists and musicians. To what extent do you agree?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.