Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society

There is a common belief that in

university

education, all fees for their own

study

should be paid by pupils because personal

university

advantages are more than that in social life. In my opinion, I predominantly disagree with

this

statement for the reasons of finance and balance, which will elaborate on the reasons.

Firstly

, it is a financial problem for

students

to pay. To explain, because most

students

have a Bachelor's degree which may mean that they have not gotten any qualifications yet, they are unable to apply for some jobs with high salaries.

Additionally

, the full cost for each curriculum in

university

is unaffordable, especially the private one.

Therefore

, the

students

might not afford their own tuition.

However

, the problem can be solved by paying part of the tuition fee by working the scholar's way through

university

Secondly

, balancing between

work

and

study

is quite challenging. It

can be

Wrong verb form

show examples

understandable that if pupils earn money to pay the full cost of college, using more energy than others, they might be exhausted, so they cannot focus on their studies.

For example

, there are many reports comparing the scores of

students

who learn

while

working with ones who only acquire knowledge, showing that the GPA of juniors who do not

work

is much higher than that of people who both

study

and

work

Therefore

this

drawback might be faced by undergraduates, if they

work

their way through

university

. In conclusion,

although

a college education benefits individuals rather than society, scholars should not pay full tuition fees, because of money and balance.

Students

should pay full cost for their own

study

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

university

education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Change the punctuation

show examples

Fri May 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

example

Your essay presents a clear and well-supported argument against the statement provided. It would benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your points.

style

Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your essay and make your points more compelling.

vocabulary

Try to introduce a broader range of vocabulary to articulate your points more vividly and to avoid repetition.

structure

You have structured your essay logically, presenting your argument in a coherent manner that is easy to follow.

introduction conclusion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your stance on the topic, effectively bookending your argument.

content

Your argument is well supported by main points that are relevant to the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

beneficiary
accountability
economic mobility
social inequalities
subsidized education
vocational training
deliberate choice
earning potential
public funding
societal benefits
innovation
self-financing
social mobility
economic equality
grants
scholarships

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuel should be the most important global priority today. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the rampant growth of the population, a significant amount of environmental concerns can be seen all over the world. Despite using fossil fuels other alternative solutions should be considered. I completely agree with the given phenomenon, since the depletion and burning of exhaustible resources bring about many negative ramifications such as global warming and wild animal extinction.
5.5
band
Write about the following topic : For many , shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others . People , however, in the past mostly visited shopping malls when necessary . To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?
Shopping malls have become the go-to place for many people these days, while previously they would only step into a mall to do some shopping. This essay strongly disagrees that it is a negative trend because it actually saves a lot of time to do a lot of different things, including shopping, and meeting people under one roof, and these places are safe to do it.
5
band
You live in a small town of 10,000 people. A large green area in the centre of town is undeveloped. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have built-in that area. City Development Survey: Option A: Shopping Complex: This shopping mall would include restaurants, a large supermarket, and a movie theatre. Option B: Recreational Park: This park would include a sports complex, a large green area, and a small petting zoo.
In my opinion, the city should utilize the available green land for building a recreational plaza. There are two primary reasons for choosing a recreational place over a shopping complex: need of outdoor activities and less finances required.
7
band
You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. •Describe the vacation spot you have chosen . •Explain how you plan to spend time there. •Invite your friend to join on your vacation
How's it going? Hope you're doing well. I'm writing this letter because I am planning to go somewhere to spend the holidays . You know very well, mostly I like hilly areas .One thing is that snow is coming, so so decided to go to China , where we can enjoy everything. We will stay in a Dragon Hotel because they provide all types of facilities
7.5
band
Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?
Nowadays, traditions seem to be less attractive to young generations.They are interested in modernity and progress rather than old habits and knowledge from ancestors.

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuel should be the most important global priority today. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic : For many , shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others . People , however, in the past mostly visited shopping malls when necessary . To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. •Describe the vacation spot you have chosen . •Explain how you plan to spend time there. •Invite your friend to join on your vacation

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?