In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #advantage #outweigh

this

present world, some

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

prefer to

studied

Change the verb

study

show examples

their children at

home

rather than school. In my opinion, I consider that being study in school will be more

effectively

Replace the word

effective

show examples

. In the ensuing

paragraph

Add a comma

,paragraph

show examples

I will explain my

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

in detail.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

studying at school

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

more feature than at

home

For example

, when you do

workshop

Add an article

a workshop

show examples

with your friends, Effective communication skill is important that you should learn about. You can talk with many of your colleagues to be confident in

yourselve

Correct your spelling

yourself

yourselves

Moreover

, it has been required

Change preposition

show examples

many

place

Change to a plural noun

places

show examples

around the world, which is a good remarkable to get a

jop

Correct your spelling

job

Furthermore

, the teachers have more qualifications,

hence

, they can explain in detail deeply, which will translate information in the best way to students.

Secondly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

learning alone at

home

may lead your life to be miserable.

For instance

, In

this

time without accredited certification and

a good knowledge

Remove the article

good knowledge

a piece of good knowledge

show examples

, it is almost impossible to get a

jop

Correct your spelling

job

, which will not let you get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to face

hard

Add an article

a hard

show examples

life.

In other words

, you have to be highly educated to make your life easier.

In addition

, if parents

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not qualified, they can not

delivering

Change the verb form

deliver

be delivering

show examples

knowledge to

boy

Add an article

the boy

a boy

show examples

therefore

, worse knowledge get

poor

Add an article

a poor

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

, and

this

will

be affect

Change the verb form

be affected

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

next future.

To conclude

, the accredited certification is important for

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

, Which is not

alow

Correct your spelling

allow

show examples

for people to get without

Correct article usage

an educationl

show examples

educationl

Correct your spelling

education

educational

at university.

It is clear that

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

institute

Correct article usage

an institute

show examples

is more beneficial than at

home

therefore

, more effectively.

Submitted by mhoos.211 on Tue Feb 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in stress by their guardians to reach their children's goals. While some people argue that increased competition creates depression, while others believe that they can achieve goals with hard work. Both sides of this topic will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference.
7
band
You have recently faced a problem at the airport. An employee of the airport helped you with this matter. Write a letter to the airport manager and say - What was the problem - How did that person help you - Suggest the manager to praise this employee in some way.
I trust this correspondence finds you well. I am writing to you to apprise you of a recent incident at the airport and to request an appreciation for one of your staff members. Allow me to elaborate on this.
8
band
Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to work harder. Do you agree?
Many people believe that companies are encouraged to provide additional time for holidays for their staff so they can work more effectively. From my perspective, I partly agree with this opinion.
8
band
Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate on whether dangerous sports should be prohibited or not. While it is beneficial to limit access to these activities for citizens, I would contend that they can benefit more from giving people more freedom to decide whether they want to take part in these sports or not.
7.5
band
Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is indeed a fact that native languages are disappearing day by day. A certain segment of society asserted that bureaucrats ought to be spent to save mother tongue. Whereas, rest of the individuals believes it is unworthy to invest in such things. This essay tends to discuss both the ideology followed by my opinion.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

You have recently faced a problem at the airport. An employee of the airport helped you with this matter. Write a letter to the airport manager and say - What was the problem - How did that person help you - Suggest the manager to praise this employee in some way.

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to work harder. Do you agree?

Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.