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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #advantage #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 present world, some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 prefer to
studied
Change the verb
study
show examples
 their children at
home
Use synonyms
 rather than school. In my opinion, I consider that being study in school will be more
effectively
Replace the word
effective
show examples
. In the ensuing
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
 I will explain my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 in detail.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying at school
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more feature than at
home
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when you do
workshop
Add an article
a workshop
show examples
 with your friends, Effective communication skill is important that you should learn about. You can talk with many of your colleagues to be confident in
yourselve
Correct your spelling
yourself
yourselves
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has been required
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 around the world, which is a good remarkable to get a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the teachers have more qualifications,
hence
Linking Words
, they can explain in detail deeply, which will translate information in the best way to students.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning alone at
home
Use synonyms
 may lead your life to be miserable.
For instance
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
 time without accredited certification and
a good knowledge
Remove the article
good knowledge
a piece of good knowledge
show examples
, it is almost impossible to get a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
, which will not let you get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to face
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
 life.
In other words
Linking Words
, you have to be highly educated to make your life easier.
In addition
Linking Words
, if parents
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not qualified, they can not
delivering
Change the verb form
deliver
be delivering
show examples
 knowledge to
boy
Add an article
the boy
a boy
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
, worse knowledge get
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
 will
be affect
Change the verb form
be affected
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
next future.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the accredited certification is important for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
, Which is not
alow
Correct your spelling
allow
show examples
 for people to get without
Correct article usage
an educationl
show examples
educationl
Correct your spelling
education
educational
 at university.
It is clear that
Linking Words
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 at
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
show examples
 is more beneficial than at
home
Use synonyms
.
therefore
Linking Words
, more effectively.
Submitted by mhoos.211 on

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