IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children)

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It is argued that charitable
activities
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 should consider a mandatory program in high school. I completely agree with
this
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 view, as it can build many
skills
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 and has many positive effects on
students
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’ physical health.
To begin
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 with, unpaid community service in high schools,
such
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 as working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, and teaching many subjects to other
students
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 can develop enormous
skills
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 in
students
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.
For example
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, in these
activities
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students
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 usually work in a team, which not only can improve their responsibility but
also
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 make them good listeners. Those
skills
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 are instrumental in finding a good job in the future.
In addition
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, some
students
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 are not interested in sports and do not have any physical
activities
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, which causes many diseases.
However
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, these
activities
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 may involve
students
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 spending time outside on their feet.
For Instance
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, they usually spend about 2 hours going hiking to help people in deprived areas.
As a result
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, they become more active and improve their physical health. Some people may argue that unpaid community services may cause depression among
students
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 as they communicate with many people, who do not have money to feed their families or provide shelter.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 situation can strengthen their appreciation feelings because they can easily realize their parents' efforts to provide a convenient life for them. In conclusion, I believe that unpaid
activities
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 for
students
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 are of paramount importance to their lives since those
activities
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 can help them to learn new
skills
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, which may guarantee their future through finding a job
also
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 they can be a good way to become
students
Use synonyms
 more active.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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