IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In recent years, the world has transformed
to
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 safer place compared to hundred years ago. Personally, I disagree with the statement that governments should Over the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 few
decades
Add a comma
,decades

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Over the last few decades. Consider adding a comma.

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 people do not have to consider
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the threat of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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war in many parts of the world.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although

If you don’t want Altough to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries

It seems that country may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 still conflicts in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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war, we can easily get
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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information about the war,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the development of
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology

If you don’t want tecnology to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Over the decades, each country spent considerable money
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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thier
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

armed forces to protect nations. It clearly shows
that
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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 government's attitude toward to
ensurelance
Correct your spelling
insurance

If you don’t want ensurelance to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

safety in the place.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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