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Band 6.5

Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

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In recent years, the growth of
technology
 adoption rose exponentially,
hence
 daily needs fulfilment became way more convenient.
However
, for the old generation, it took more effort to utilize the mobile-phones or the Internet. I personally believe that the elderly
in particular
 can benefit more in terms of
information
, though several proofs should be addressed to them carefully. There are two major
benefits
 which can be obtained by old people.
Firstly
,
technology
 can convey long-distance communication through the Internet. By sending photos or videos, the elderly can share the moments with their distant family,
such
 as a brother, son, or even granddaughter. Making phone calls regularly can keep the disease away
due to
 psychological loneliness.
Furthermore
, the Internet provides a bunch of
information
 they can consume. There are a lot of choices, starting from news, tutorial, jokes or even political news. Keep staying with the
information
 can maintain brain function of them,
hence
 the memory can good as new.
However
, the complicated way to run the applications somehow restricts the elderly to extract
benefits
 from them.
Then
, the benefit of using the mobile phone should be well informed by the younger generation. A simple tutorial will help the elderly cope with the gadget, as long as it fulfils their needs for communication and
information
. Equally important is to show how convenient if we can use
technology
 properly. So, it means we should mention the
benefits
 will outweigh the drawbacks. All in all, the elderly who adapt to
technology
 will be ended up with numerous
benefits
, though it is important for the younger generation to provide several proofs of how
technology
 can help the old ones.
Submitted by fransprisyafada on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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