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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #possessions #measure #person
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These days most people consider that being successful means being wealthy and possessing expansive belongings.
However
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, I firmly believe that the measurement of success is different and it is harder to become a real achiever. The following essay will discuss what may measure achievement
instead
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 of wealth and how to become a high achiever.
To begin
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 with, there is a wrong belief that a high achiever is a wealthy individual who has an enormous house, several vehicles and other expensive possessions.
On the other hand
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, others believe that having a good car is not enough. In my opinion, a successful person is someone who gained all their goals and achieved happiness, because a rich person can be unhappy because they may not have a family to support them. Usually, if one is only interested in their career there is no time for communication. To create a family, one needs to spend a lot of time with their relatives or a wife/husband will lose interest in
this
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 communication.
Besides
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this
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, there are severe factors which create a successful person
such
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 as perseverance and diligence.
Therefore
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, people who are able to work hard to reach their aims usually are luckier in life than those who do nothing. Nowadays the young generation tends to spend their time studying and working out to create better selves.
Hence
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, there is a hope that the huge majority will attempt to reach success in the future.
To conclude
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, not only wealth is a measure of success, but happiness is more valuable.
However
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, there is a need to be diligent and work hard to achieve heights in life.
Submitted by 8621anna on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Affluence
  • Materialism
  • Fulfillment
  • Well-being
  • Philanthropy
  • Societal norms
  • Personal growth
  • Economic power
  • Subjective
  • Humanitarian
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