Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #control #behaviour #children #age #freedom

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some individuals assert that the behaviour of kids ought to be controlled during their upbringing age

whereas

Linking Words

, others feel that

this

Linking Words

age of children is like free as "birds fly in the sky".

According to

Linking Words

my point of view, they should provide ethical and cultural knowledge

along with

Linking Words

some examples

instead

Linking Words

of imposing strict rules and regulations as freedom is mandatory for the holistic development of folk. It is irrefutable that why certain masses believed that the behaviour of young people should be modified

according to

Linking Words

the society during

this

Linking Words

youth is that adapting

as well as

Linking Words

learning phase of life.During

this

Linking Words

phase ,youngsters learn quickly whatever they see and observe around their surroundings.

Hence

Linking Words

,parents should keep an eagle eye on their folk.

Therefore

Linking Words

,they can not indulge in bad company,which has a detrimental impact on their upcoming activities.if the group learn fruitful things by following their rules,

then

Linking Words

they can nourish their career gain indecently.

However

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

me,

overall

Linking Words

growth is imperative during

this

Linking Words

time period,which is possible

while

Linking Words

providing freedom

along with

Linking Words

guidance.As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the parents are too strict with them,they can not share their feelings and problems freely with their guardians.

Therefore

Linking Words

,most of the time,they feel more isolated which results in more health problems

such

Linking Words

as anxiety attacks and depression at an early age.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,they always lack confidence

due to

Linking Words

their fear of the strict behaviour of their parents and do not express their feelings.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,they do not give their hundred per cent because of the parent's pressure. In conclusion,providing adequate knowledge to the child gives fruitful consequences

while

Linking Words

controlling them the hard way.

Hence

Linking Words

,guardians have a responsibility to tackle their kids in a friendly way.So that,they concentrate on their activity freely,which is better for their physical

as well as

Linking Words

mental advancement.

Submitted by kamalkaur.er on Sun Jan 26 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each idea and argument is logically connected and transitions smoothly. Use more cohesive devices and linking words to enhance fluidity.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Clarify some of your ideas further. Certain points could be expanded to show a deeper understanding and exploration of the topic.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument clearly in your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well defined, providing a good structure to your essay.

task achievement

You've acknowledged the importance of both control and freedom, showing a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.
I believe that to achieve happiness you must know how to appreciate the little things in life, such as friends and family and then comes the money, money is an important thing in our life but it doesn't buy the good moments, the good friendships
<4
band
Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think re the causes of this? What effects will have on society?
As far as many criminals or prisoners does more crimes immediatly after theirt freedom this matter has some bad effects on society that I will mention some of them in this essay.
4
band
Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people reduce stress.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it is true that computers have become an essential tool for teachers and students in all areas of education. However, while computers are extremely useful, i do not agree with the idea that thye could soon replace teachers completely.
6
band
As the debate over whether school uniforms should be compulsory gets intense, it has become a matter of concern whether people should stick to this traditional way of uniforms or seek alternative solutions.
As the debate over whether school uniforms should be compulsory gets intense, it has become a matter of concern whether people should stick to this traditional way of uniforms or seek alternative solutions. Some people argue that school uniforms promote unity and discipline among students. However, I strongly disagree with this opinion. This essay will discuss why school uniforms should not be compulsory, pointing out their negative effects on students' comfort, quality, expense, and etc.
5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can indeed pose both social and practical challenges. Do you agree or disagree?
Residing in a country where you have to speak a foreign language may be both challenging in terms of social and practical way. I agree on the statement regarding the difficulties a non-native person encounters when living on a country where the language being used is not their first language.

Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think re the causes of this? What effects will have on society?

Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people reduce stress.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the debate over whether school uniforms should be compulsory gets intense, it has become a matter of concern whether people should stick to this traditional way of uniforms or seek alternative solutions.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can indeed pose both social and practical challenges. Do you agree or disagree?