IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that parents have a great influence on the children’s growth but influence from the outside plays a more important role. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #influence #children’s #growth #role
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Early
children
's
growth
 has imperative effects on their life. Some people feel that
parents
 have a tremendous effect on
children
's
growth
.
Whereas
 , Others argue that the outside plays a more crucial role. I completely agree with the first idea because
parents
 are more concerned about their
children
 and they spend more of their time with their
parents
. On the one hand ,The responsibility for
children
's
growth
 is on their
parents
' efforts. In The early period of a kid's life, the first 5 years, their physical, emotional, and psychological manners are developed.
Parents
 inculcate these manners in their offspring who have the ability to acquire them physically at
this
 age. A clear example is that a psychology study performed at Shiraz university of medical sciences illustrated that 60% of
kids
 with high stress and anxiety level have mothers with stressful behaviours which were learned in a
home
 environment.
As a result
,
parents
 have a fundamental effect on their
kids
'
growth
.
On the other hand
, Many offspring learn their behaviours by imitating others who live in their vicinity. The
kids
 spend more of their time at
home
 where they encounter their family treats.
For instance
, an academic study revealed 30% of
kids
 who tell lies, had learned them from other siblings at the
home
.
In addition
, The
children
 have the tendency to learn antisocial activities,
as well as
, bad manners from their families because these activities are more joyful and exciting.
As a result
, other members of the family have liabilities to establish reasonable behaviours in the
home
 environment. In conclusion,
although
 many contend that outside plays a major role in
children
's
growth
, I believe that family has a significant effect on it.
Submitted by dr.mansoori41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: