Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

#cases #school

It is true that bullying in

school

is getting severe and happening more frequently nowadays.

While

it is a serious problem, there is a solution for

this

issue which I am going to elaborate

with

Change preposition

on with

show examples

possible reasons.

To begin

with, the main cause of increased bullying in educational institutions is that

students

are under strong pressure to get high scores and the best achievements in

school

This

due to

the fact that many parents and teachers, nowadays, tend to force their children and

students

to succeed in

school

and today's competitive society.

As a result

students

are likely to regard other colleagues as just competitors to win,

instead

of friends to get

along with

, so they might behave violently and impolitely to other

students

However

, there are solutions to

this

problem. One of the ways to prohibit

students

from bullying other

students

is to provide them with various opportunities to participate in some programs in which they should cooperate and co-work with each other to achieve high grades in

school

such

as group projects and sports activities. From experiencing and completing

this

kind of project,

students

will get to know the importance of cooperation for success, and realize that they do not need to think

other

Change preposition

of other

show examples

students

as competitors to win, which leads to less stress for them. Take Warren Buffett,

for instance

. He is a globally recognized CEO and investor. Listed among Times' 100 Most Influential People, Buffett mentioned in an interview that having experienced success by cooperating with other colleagues when he was a student shaped him into a successful businessman. Since views on life and values differ among individuals, it seems like

this

subject will remain controversial.

However

, in conclusion, I believe that I have accurately demonstrated a possible reason and a solution with the concrete rationale and evidence stated above.

Submitted by withjungwon on Wed Feb 08 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Write a letter to a hotel manager to inform that you are coming with a group of people to have a business meeting at his hotel: Introduce yourself and the group. Tell about the business meeting. Inform if accommodation is necessary.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?