IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
It is one of
hard
Add an article
a hard
the hard
show examples
 issue for patients who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
illness
Add an article
an illness
show examples
 to figure
what
Change preposition
out what
show examples
 is the most proper thing they can do. Some
people
Use synonyms
 who have diseases try to find other solutions like changing medicines or
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 of curing them rather than contacting
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their doctor
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there are
people
Use synonyms
 who insist it is not
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 key to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 their problem.
Body paragraph 1
In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss focusing on the merits of changing
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 or
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
 of taking care of their situation and
also
Linking Words
 mention of negative points of the issue.
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
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,
changing
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the changing
a changing
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 method is
natural
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a natural
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 thing if their
origin
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original
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 treatments don't work in a good way.
People
Use synonyms
 who
is
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are
show examples
 on the
patient
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patient's
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 side should think
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of other
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other answer
Change the wording
another answer
other answers
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 to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 them healthier than before.
For example
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, individuals who got
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 damaged illness which is hard to handle will try to find any possible options they can take even if it is effective or not.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
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, if the doctor
don't
Correct your spelling
won't
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 have a chance to give solutions to care
their
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for their
show examples
 patients there is no reason to visit
same
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the same
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 medical
center
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centre
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 anymore.
Body paragraph 4
As
i
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I
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 mentioned, handling the conditions in a different way may
also
Linking Words
 be
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 5
Another side of taking alternative options could be seen as a
gembling
Correct your spelling
gambling
. If those sick
people
Use synonyms
 try to make new treatments without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence of
effect
Replace the word
effectiveness
show examples
, it will
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
 their lives.
Body paragraph 6
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, repeating to change given situations will give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confusion to check their current body condition. It's better to lean on their own doctor who knows them for a long time than
finding
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
 answers from strangers.
Conclusion
Like
this
Linking Words
, even minus points exist but if we find
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 new choices and
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 time, taking alternative ways could become the best selection.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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