IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
Advertisements
 for products and services have become ubiquitous in the age of globalisation. Recently, the popular consumer goods which have a high revenue reflect that they are predominantly influenced by the power of advertising and not the actual demands of the public in which they are sold. From my perspective, I totally agree that the higher sales of popular consumer goods, the more powerful strength of commercials are. It’s undeniable that technology has become an essential part of our everyday life. The advancement of technology empowers commercials in various ways
such
 as online
advertisements
 and
data
 analysis. Many hardware and software have been collecting our
data
 for decades to analyze and convince us to comply with their recommendations.
For instance
, Apple is one of the most successful companies which have implemented online banners
according to
 consumers’ search history resulting in the highest market value in
this
 era.
As a result
, it ends up buying unexpected and unnecessary items. Even though consumers did not want them, they can not resist the offered lucrative deals which will
consequently
 increase firms’ revenue.
Furthermore
, citizens’ free will should not be hidden by the power of
advertisements
. it has been strengthened for decades since the emergence of the internet.
According to
 the collected
data
, the algorithm will serve as an interesting and enjoyable topic for users. Interestingly, many people approve to share
data
 because they will receive personalized offers on their screens.
For instance
, research in behavioural economics at the University of Warwick proves that humans can be easily influenced by various factors including customized banners.
However
, it is a matter of personal preference which might be beneficial for someone but not work for others. To recapitulate,
this
 essay agreed that enormous profits of the businesses reflect the power of
advertisements
; meanwhile, it might intentionally persuade the community to follow the marketing’s demands
instead
 of people’s free will.
Submitted by Taninnuch.tha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: