It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

In both personal and professional spheres, people value risky

steps

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life

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. Building your

life

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, one might say, consists of

risks

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Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, there are more advantages. If a

person

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takes

risks

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, he can change his

life

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. By risking big chances and

steps

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towards

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

future, many people achieve success in

life

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For example

Linking Words

, in our time, many

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risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

education

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in education

show examples

investment

Correct word choice

and investment

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This

Linking Words

even applies to a

person

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's personal

life

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. If we take our homeland Kazakhstan as an example.

According to

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statistics, 40% of teenagers who finish school

risk

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flying away to study in other countries and

also

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getting to know a new world.

Also

Linking Words

, in a

person

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's personal

life

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, a

person

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will find his other half if he takes

risks

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and hopes for the best.

Body paragraph 2

Оn

Correct your spelling

the other hand, some risky

steps

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are wrong.

For example

Linking Words

risking

Change preposition

by risking

show examples

everything you have, you can lose everything. If these are ill-considered

steps

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then

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such

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risks

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can change your

life

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100%.

Conclusion

In conclusion, in most cases,

risk

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is a new path to greater chances and

life

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. The main reasons are that it is better to take a

risk

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and see

this

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path than to remain guessing without

risk

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Sunflower

Jan 28, 2025

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task achievement

Consider introducing your main argument in the introduction more explicitly. This can guide the reader through your essay more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly distinguish between advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs to enhance clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Try to vary your vocabulary and language structures for a more engaging essay. Use synonyms and different grammatical forms to express your ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

task achievement

You included a relevant example of teenagers studying abroad to illustrate your point about personal risks.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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