IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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In both personal and professional spheres, people value risky
steps
Use synonyms
 in
life
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. Building your
life
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, one might say, consists of
risks
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. On the one hand, there are more advantages. If a
person
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 takes
risks
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, he can change his
life
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. By risking big chances and
steps
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 towards
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 future, many people achieve success in
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in our time, many
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
education
Change preposition
in education
show examples
,
investment
Correct word choice
and investment
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.
This
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 even applies to a
person
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's personal
life
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. If we take our homeland Kazakhstan as an example.
According to
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 statistics, 40% of teenagers who finish school
risk
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 flying away to study in other countries and
also
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 getting to know a new world.
Also
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, in a
person
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's personal
life
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, a
person
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 will find his other half if he takes
risks
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 and hopes for the best.
Оn
Correct your spelling
On
 the other hand, some risky
steps
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 are wrong.
For example
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,
risking
Change preposition
by risking
show examples
 everything you have, you can lose everything. If these are ill-considered
steps
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,
then
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such
Linking Words
risks
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 can change your
life
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 100%. In conclusion, in most cases,
risk
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 is a new path to greater chances and
life
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. The main reasons are that it is better to take a
risk
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 and see
this
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 path than to remain guessing without
risk
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.

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task achievement
Consider introducing your main argument in the introduction more explicitly. This can guide the reader through your essay more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly distinguish between advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your vocabulary and language structures for a more engaging essay. Use synonyms and different grammatical forms to express your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
task achievement
You included a relevant example of teenagers studying abroad to illustrate your point about personal risks.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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