It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some people think taking

risks

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in their professional

lives

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and personal

lives

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is crucial. Once my father said, if you take

risks

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and succeed,

then

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you will work only for yourself,

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

you will work for a

person

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who took a risk. After that

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show examples

got to

know

Verb problem

learned

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when

Correct word choice

that when

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someone is

risking

Replace the word

risky

show examples

this

Linking Words

person

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will fail or succeed,but if

this

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person

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will

Verb problem

does

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not

risk

Correct subject-verb agreement

risks

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,he will definitely fail.

Initially

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, let's start with the advantages of taking

risks

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in professional

lives

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and personal

lives

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.As

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show examples

mentioned before, taking

risks

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enhances your chance to achieve your plans.

Moreover

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, even if it

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not succeed, the thing you get is experience, and it

is broaden

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broadens

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your horizon, which

able to

Wrong verb form

will

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boost your chance to

get

Verb problem

apply

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succeed.

On the other hand

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, it is vital to have awareness about taking

risks

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and take into account the drawbacks.

For example

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, if a

person

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wants to create his own home-made rocket

for selling

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to sell

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to kids, and to prove that it flies well, he is taking a risk to launch it in a crowded spot,

then

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it crashes into someone's car and he gets charged for

this

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or even to get arrested.

To sum up

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, I saw more benefits of taking

risks

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over the drawbacks. But, if your

risks

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were made without thorough investigations, the only thing you get is failure.

dinazhumanova2001Tue Jan 28 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to explicitly indicate your position on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points, particularly in regards to the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking.

content

You provided a personal anecdote which adds a unique touch to your essay.

idea

Your points about gaining experience from risks are insightful and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the fast pace and the stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

disadvantages and advantages of universal healthcare.[772]