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Writing Samples
Band 6

Last year many famous pop and sports stars earned millions of dollars each. Many other entertainment and sports personalities also have very high incomes.On the other hand,most people in ordinary professions like nurses, doctors and teachers earn only a small fraction of the incomes of these stars. What do you think about stars receiving very high salaries? IS IT fair that people with jobs that directly help people are paid much less? give reasons for your answer.

#year #pop #sports #stars #millions #dollars #entertainment #personalities #incomes #hand #people #professions #nurses #doctors #teachers #fraction #salaries #jobs
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Debates have occurred regarding whether it is fair for public figures to earn higher salaries than ordinary professionals
such
 as social
workers
. In my opinion, it's not fair for the ones helping directly to receive only bits compared to sports and entertainment personalities.
To begin
 with, the problem with society right now is that social
workers
 are valued less than the ones who always make sensations and news which often come out as "entertaining".
For instance
, many teachers' salaries don't meet the adequate standard for sacrificing their time and knowledge to help generations have a brighter future
while
 celebrities who only make TikTok videos and gossip live in fame and mansion.
Moreover
, the disparity is so high that it is considered inhumane when the government only pays social
workers
 a worthless amount of money for helping the samaritans with meritorious services.
While
 it is true that celebrities are
also
 working 9 to 5 jobs, it still will never equal the amount of things these doctors, nurses, and teachers have to sacrifice in social virtue they did to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public wellness.
In addition
, the impact they bring is
also
 really big but often left unnoticed by the members of society to care about since all in their eyes are only the shine and bright fame from celebrities they see on social media and other platforms. In conclusion, I emphasized the problem
occurs
Correct pronoun usage
that occurs
show examples
 from the income inequality that happened in our society where social
workers
 who work precious jobs are seen as less than the ones entertaining in social media.
Submitted by ssannyssss on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and paragraphs flow logically from one to the other, with the use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences.
task achievement
Keep a balanced discussion covering all parts of the question and provide clear reasons and examples to support your views; make sure you address why some people might believe it is fair.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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