Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

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Many
people
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choose to leave their hometowns to live in big
cities
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. That condition makes the
village
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full of only old
people
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.
This
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essay will try to elaborate about what are the reasons behind
this
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problem, and provide solutions
at the end
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.
To begin
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with, youth are always full of energy, and as they grow up, they demand many products or needs like their friends. To fulfil their needs, of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
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they need to earn more money,
live
Wrong verb form
living
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in the
village
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does not seem good for them, so in pursuing
carrier
Correct article usage
a carrier
show examples
, they choose to move to big
cities
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.
Moreover
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,
cities
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provided
Wrong verb form
provide
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various carrier options, so
people
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can choose whatever they like and
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
for them. The second reason,
cities
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already expand many technologies that cannot be found in the
village
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.
This
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condition
,
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apply
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attracts many
youth
Change to a plural noun
youths
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to experience the technology, and eventually get immersed
by
Change preposition
in
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that. To prevent young
people
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from leaving the
village
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,
government
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the government
show examples
must elevate the technology in the
village
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, and build or reconstruct the
village
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, so it will make the
village
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more pleasant for young
people
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. Providing various jobs, and elevating the economy
also
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become options.
This
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will make young
people
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experience many kinds of jobs without leaving their homes. Collaborating with
big
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a big
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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to sell
local
Add an article
a local
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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also
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can be
the
Correct article usage
an
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option to level up the local economy. The process must involve youth so they can be responsible and engage more with their
village
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. In conclusion, to prevent more
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
leaving their
village
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must set the
village
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to
youthful
Correct article usage
a youthful
show examples
liking,
while
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bringing advanced technology to come to the
village
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.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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