The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to teach the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Many

thinks

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think

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that

school

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must raise the amount of sport and

exercise

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at

school

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, in order to prevent children

to become

Change preposition

from becoming

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overwight

Correct your spelling

overweight

.

This

Linking Words

essay

disagree

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disagrees

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with the statement

,

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apply

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and will try to elaborate the reason and provide the solutions.

To begin

Linking Words

with, doing many

sports

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and exercises at

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schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

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will

makes

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make

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the

kids

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more tired and exhausted when they come home, and eventually will make the

kids

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too tired to do other activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if

kids

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gets

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get

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too tired, they cannot do well in

school

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.

For example

Linking Words

, after long hours of

exercise

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at

school

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, when come home, they just want to take a lot of rest, and leaving study, it may lead them to

loose

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lose

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grade at

school

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.

Do

Wrong verb form

Doing

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so many

sports

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also

Linking Words

can lead the

kids

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to lose concentration when they are

studiying

Correct your spelling

studying

, because they feel

exausted

Correct your spelling

exhausted

and tired.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, overweight

kids

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, cannot perform

sport

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sports

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or

exercise

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in

Change preposition

for

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long

period

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periods

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. That may

harmful

Add a missing verb

be harmful

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for

Change preposition

to

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their breathing and

the

Correct article usage

apply

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extreem

Correct your spelling

extremely

possible, may cause

a

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apply

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nausea. That condition may worsen their health. There are other ways to maintain the

Use synonyms

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

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weight,

for

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

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teach them to eat more healthy

food

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rather than junk

food

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. Eating healthy

food

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not

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is not

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only good for maintaining weight but

also

Linking Words

will

improving

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improve

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their health.

Schools

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should make many variations of

food

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, so the

kids

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will not get bored eating healthy

food

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.

Schools

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can

also

Linking Words

ask the parents to bring only healthy

food

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for

Use synonyms

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

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kunch

Correct your spelling

lunch

box

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boxes

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.

In addition

Linking Words

,

schools

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can make

a sport events

Correct the article-noun agreement

a sport event

sport events

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, so the

kids

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will have

a

Correct article usage

apply

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light

exercise

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without doing so much. In conclusion,

writer

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the writer

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thinks that

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

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the amount of

sports

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

is

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not the best solution to prevent overweight

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

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.

Provides

Wrong verb form

Providing

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many healthy

food

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and

sports

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events can be the

better

Correct word choice

best

show examples

solutions

Fix the agreement mistake

solution

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that the

school

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can make.