IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information about
Use synonyms
rates
Correct article usage
the rates
show examples
 of
China
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that the two countries showed similar trajectories and fell over the periods. The
birth
Use synonyms
 rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Use synonyms
china
Change preposition
in china
show examples
 for the majority of
Correct article usage
the times
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, with two brief exceptions. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of
birth
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 11%, which was only 1% upper than that of
China
Use synonyms
. The patterns of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 figures were similar until around 1930. After that time, there was a significant surge
while
Linking Words
 the
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 rose slightly. Both
rates
Use synonyms
 of born babies descended considerably, dipping to above 10% after the moment of increasing trends. The
birth
Use synonyms
 rate in
China
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 went up steeply, which is four times higher than the proportion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
5years
Correct your spelling
5 years
 ago.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rates
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 grew gradually, accounting for almost 15%. But all of them dropped sharply to finish at 7% and 3% respectively to end
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the period surveyed.
Submitted by ksl4308 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, china, usa, birth with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • changes
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • amount of time
  • housework
  • households
  • significantly
  • increased
  • decreased
  • majority
  • refrigerators
  • washing machines
  • televisions
  • advanced
  • dishwashers
  • air conditioning units
  • average
  • tasks
  • cooking
  • cleaning
  • laundry
  • availability
  • easier
  • faster
  • evolution
  • impact
  • distribution
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