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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many children have become habitual about excessively using mobile application day and night. Why do you think this is so ? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further ?

#children #application #night #parents #situation
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Nowadays, the majority of
children
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 are able to access the
smartphone
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 24/7, and it directs to the extent of using mobile
applications
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 whether it is day or night.
This
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 is one of the problems that modern days parents and
children
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 have. Since the
smartphone
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 became a formal type of mobile phone, the community, including the heir, cannot live without it if they know how it is comfortable and useful for daily activity. First of all, since the early 2010s, the
smartphone
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 became the type of 'usual' mobile phone that anyone can able to hand in.
People
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 do not use old-style mobile phones which do not provide messenger
applications
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 or search engines.
Children
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also
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 share their daily life with their family and friends through smartphones using the mobile application. In my opinion, the
smartphone
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 is small enough to bring in daily life, so there are only a few ways to regulate
children
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 not to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their phones or
applications
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.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 cannot realize the level of seriousness of
smartphone
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 addiction, so it is hard to control by a third person. Parents are the only
people
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 who can control their child and their behaviour,
for example
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, using a mobile phone when a child is in their family. Adults, especially parents, can control offspring's time and actions by ordering them to do. In Korea, the National University held a survey of 2,500
people
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 who have more than one kid under the 13-year-old to ask do they track their
children
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 by using a
smartphone
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; 60% of mothers or fathers answered that they installed GPS
applications
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 on their
children
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's smartphones which were developed for child safety.
In other words
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, there might be a function which can shut down the machine in force; or, there is a possibility that they can see the log and when an application that their juvenile used the application. In conclusion,
people
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 at a young age who cannot judge what is right and wrong needs some protection and supervision from adults, and prevent them from be
smartphone
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 addict. If
children
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 use their mobile
applications
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 during the whole day without deciding on a priority,
then
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 it will affect their daily lives,
such
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 as studies, sports, communications, and social ability.
Submitted by yrie819 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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