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Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether economic
progress
 is the most important factor in a country’s success. Some
people
 believe that economic
progress
 sets goals for
government
, and others believe there are more important goals to reach. In
this
 essay, I will explain why
people
 have different opinions on the same topic and present my way of seeing
this
 subject.
To begin
 with, the economy is significant, but the health care system shows how good is country’s technological
progress
. Everyone wants to be cured of every disease, but to
this
 day not every illness is curable. Because of
this
, every day more
people
 are working on creating something that would help different diseases.
For example
, countries that invent new cures for some kind of illnesses are
leaders
 in the world. With better technology,
people
 in that area can live longer and healthier lives.
Secondly
, education is as significant as the economy, but educated
people
 can make smarter decisions from every perspective. Educated
people
 can work in jobs that require more knowledge, but
also
 help in everyday life.
For instance
, education helps to develop new technology and literacy helps to make the right decisions
while
 choosing
government
 and
leaders
 of a specific place. With newer inventions and smart
leaders
, the country can function more efficiently.
On the other hand
, economic
progress
 is the basis of every other goal. With a perfect economy and money, the
government
 can reach other aims. In different periods, different things were important to a nation, but these days without money, nothing is possible to reach.
This
 means that the economic
progress
 of an area must be excellent so that the country can be a leader in the world. Having considered both views, I think economic
progress
, the health care system and education must be the
government
's priority and not just one specific thing. Only by having balance in everything,
leaders
 will achieve their goals.
Submitted by oimigle on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to the points you are making. This will strengthen the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to fully support your main points. This will enhance the task achievement score by demonstrating a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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