Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

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In contemporary society most occasions are being celebrated, some folks think that celebrating with family is essential even though it uses up

such

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an amount but creates unforgettable moments,

while

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others believe it is

misuse

Wrong verb form

misused

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and should spend on more important matters. Nowadays, people love to celebrate different occasions like Christmas Eve, birthdays, Anniversaries,

Correct word choice

and

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Valentine's Day and other more, and it brings joy and connection to the family circle. During

this

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occasion, the families and relatives gather and enjoy the dinner, for ,instance a baby celebrating their 1st birthday and everyone is invited with mouth-watering foods, delightful desserts, and flavorful drinks,

moreover

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a fancy venue with

such

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an amazing and spectacular decoration, an abundance of giveaways and beautiful clothes. These shared moments will always give memories and happiness to the celebrants and the people who came to celebrate with them.

Whereas

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, these extravagant celebrations

according to

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others, are just a waste of money that should be spent on more important stuff which is more crucial in future needs.

For example

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instead

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of spending a large amount on one party, they can open a bank account for the baby and start saving for education. For others, a big celebration is not necessary,

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a simple and intimate celebration with the people that you love the most is what matters, which can bring happiness as well. In conclusion, celebrating any occasion is

according to

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the preference of the celebrants, if one is fortunate enough and can spend a ton of dollars and brings them a happy heart is a great idea,

however

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for those who prefer for simple and memorable is

also

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good, but one should not just show off and throw a big celebration and went broke.

Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on Thu Feb 09 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cherish
nurture
strengthen
bond
create memories
enjoyment
sense of belonging
reconnect
unite
traditions
create traditions
financial burden
priorities
moderation
budget
frugal
extravagant

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Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their chuldren’s Study. On the contrary , those online games have produced a lot of negative effect on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion

Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?