IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In Britain, when someone’s gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Some times the government has to pay for this care Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#britain #someone’s #home #people #nurses #times #government #care
Who should pay the cost of elder-
care
 units? The governments or the families? Well,
this
 question has been the topic of hot debate. I find myself in agreement with the former statement and deem that it is the
government
's duty for reasons as shall be elaborated upon presently. On the one hand,
although
 many people can afford
this
 facility it is not realistic for families. To explain, individuals pay taxes for their entire life and deserve free old-age accommodation services when they are in their remaining years.
Nonetheless
, not only,
this
 will foster equality
due to
 a similar financial budget for all citizens but
also
 diminishes the onus from family members.
Hence
, It is clear that the
government
 should stimulate
this
 approach and aid the elderly by rendering quality lodge amenities.
On the other hand
, proponents of another viewpoint might argue that
due to
 other financial responsibilities authorities should shun
this
 area and pay attention to various imperative sectors
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 associating succour in hospitals and schools. From my perspective, I understand that officials should pay close consideration towards other primary areas too, but accommodation liability for older people should be on high authority.
Consequently
, supporting elderly individuals financially solely by the family might not be feasible for all, especially those with low-income backgrounds. In
such
 cases, the
government
 should step in to provide support to ensure that all elderly people receive the
care
 they need irrespective of their family's financial status.
Moreover
,
government
-funded elderly
care
 ensures equality in the quality of
care
 provided to all citizens, regardless of their financial circumstances. To recapitulate, based on the aforementioned arguments it can be reiterated that not everyone can pay the costs associated with elderly
care
.
Thus
, the
government
 should opt for the liability and pay for the expenses for senior citizen homes because those individuals paid taxes when they were working.
Submitted by dipalidarji4360 on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the given prompt, arguing that the government should be responsible for the costs of elder care, supported by logical reasons and explanations. However, integrating specific examples or experiences could enhance the argument further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Occasionally, sentence structures can be streamlined for better fluency and readability. Enhancing the logical flow between certain sentences may improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents and justifies the viewpoint that the government should bear the responsibility for elder care costs through logical arguments and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the author's position, and the conclusion succinctly reiterates it, maintaining a strong overall structure.
task achievement
Different perspectives are briefly considered, adding depth to the discussion even while maintaining focus on the main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nursing home
  • elder care
  • financial responsibility
  • moral duty
  • gratitude and respect
  • government support
  • low-income backgrounds
  • quality of care
  • shared responsibility model
  • public service necessity
  • dignity and care
  • financial pressure
  • comprehensive support services
  • neglect or inadequate care
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