IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Exposure to international media, such as films, TV and magazines, has an impact on the local culture. What do you think of these impacts? Do you think that the advantages of these impacts outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#exposure #media #films #tv #magazines #impact #culture #impacts
Globalization facilitates the way of communication.
As a result
,
people
 are tending towards foreign cinemas and magazines
as well as
 satellite programs.
According to
 the experts,
this
 tendency affects regional culture, though I suppose, it is beneficial for skill development, language learning and
also
 for entertainment. Here, the following paragraphs aim to highlight various advantages of foreign media in support of my argument. To start with, one of the major drawbacks of spreading International means of entertainment is that it alienates
people
 from their native culture. As much as
people
 get
touch
Change preposition
in touch
show examples
 with foreign values and fashions, they prefer to eat with folks and chopsticks or wear jeans and tops.
However
, foreign movies like Science
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
show examples
 and
thrilers
Correct your spelling
thrillers
 develop
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Child
Change noun form
Child's
show examples
 Psychology,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, he or she is more capable than others in
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 and innovating new things.
For example
, the children who are watching Sherlock Holmes are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
sharp in thinking.
Likewise
, reading International Journals and tv dramas
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 children to learn a new language which adds
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 additional qualification
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their resume. It not only helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 get a good job but
also
 boosts their capacity of learning.
For instance
, the increasing
popularly
Replace the word
popularity
show examples
 of Korean dramas in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries is inspiring
people
 to know about Korean
Lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 and move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country.
Apart from
this
, these films and shows offer a different taste to watchers where there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not enough sources of refreshment. In a nutshell,
although
 it is well accepted that global media has negative impacts on national norms and values, I believe, it has some positive impacts on the development process of a child. It improves their stoke of knowledge. So, I think the benefits outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by rishi.seehra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: