Write about the following topic: Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in a house. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

A discourse about living in a high-rise
apartment
block has resulted a numerous responses,
while
some people said it lack of
community
spirit eventually leads to loneliness. Others said
otherwise
, as it brings a much bigger sense of belonging to a
community
. From my point of view, I do agree with the first statement.
To begin
with, most of the population who live in a humongous
apartment
come from a high-income household who is often very money-oriented.
Thus
, they are individualistic, and narcissistic, and usually have a mindset that time is money.
Therefore
, they will be busy all the time with no spare time to talk to neighbours, get to know them personally, and even help when they are in need. No wonder some people stated that it would be a lonely journey.
On the other hand
, there are several people who have the opposite standpoint on
this
matter. They have seen the different light on living inside an
apartment
, as it may result in a close-knit
community
that helps each other out. They believe that the loneliness will fade out since humans a social creatures who can not live individually, without help from others.
Furthermore
, resulted in the emergence of a
community
and a sense of belonging to it.
To sum up
, the responses might vary based on each person whether it is approval or disapproval. Yet from my perspective, taking into account the reality, it will be hard to imagine the huge prospect of
community
in an
apartment
complex. I believe that it will be an uncomfortable journey full of loneliness that can be an obstacle to unity.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and outlines the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should effectively summarize the discussed points and restate your stance.
Balance of Arguments
Provide balanced arguments for both sides before giving your opinion to fully address the prompt. The essay currently leans heavily towards one point of view without sufficiently discussing the other.
Logical Flow
Improve the logical flow by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
Language Range
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and fluently.
Supporting Examples
Include specific examples and explanations to support your arguments. General statements should be substantiated with concrete details.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • isolation
  • communal gatherings
  • shared facilities
  • foster
  • neighborly connections
  • vibrant community spirit
  • organizational efforts
  • engagement
  • high-rise apartments
  • interactions
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