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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are various lessons
people
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 can choose to engage in in schools.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
history
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 is a more vital subject than others, others argue that learning
science
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 and
technology
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 is more necessary than
history
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 at present. From my perspective, I think learning
history
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 is far more important, and in
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs. Honestly, it is true that if
people
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 live without
history
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, the world will not become like
this
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 nowadays. Learning
history
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 is crucial as it offers lessons to avoid repeating mistakes, which helps individuals make progress through experiences.
Besides
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, it
also
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 provides insight into past events, offering diverse perspectives from the Earth to the universe. Take Pompeii as an example, learning its
history
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 lets us know the reason why it disappeared and helps us avoid similar natural disasters.
However
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, in the contemporary world, with the increasing number of
science
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 and
technology
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-related jobs, which are always associated with higher salaries,
as a result
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, more and more
people
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 believe that studying both fields is far more promising.
Furthermore
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,
in addition
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 to wages, both create more practical outcomes,
such
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 as the invention of rockets, smartphones, ChatGPT, computers and so on, which contribute to the improvement of
people
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's lives. Even though there are more realistic advantages showing that learning
science
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 and
technology
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 outweighs learning
history
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, without studying the intelligence and experience of the past,
people
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 will lose a lot of opportunities to achieve great results like today. In conclusion, in my opinion,
history
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,
science
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 and
technology
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 are important subjects, and three of them are dispensable for the whole human life.
People
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 can learn experiences from
history
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 and
further
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 utilise them in
science
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,
technology
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 and even other areas.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should put effort into learning
history
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.

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Introduction Development
Develop and expand your introduction more comprehensively to immediately clarify your stance and outline the structure of your essay. This will create a stronger foundation for reader's understanding.
Specific Examples
Even though your essay included general examples such as Pompeii and technology inventions, try to integrate more specific and recent examples to strengthen your argument and make it more relevant to today's context.
Linking Words
To enhance coherence, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases that not only show the relationship between sentences but also between paragraphs. This will make your argument flow more naturally.
Conclusion Reinforcement
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your points, but consider reinforcing your own opinion more decisively here. It's important that the reader is left with a clear understanding of your stance on the issue.
Balanced Argument Development
Work on balancing the development of both sides of the argument. While it's clear you have a stance, ensuring both sides are equally explored can demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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