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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown in the diagram.

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown in the diagram.
The given diagram demonstrates the greenhouse effect on the earth through increased emission of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 via burning fuel and decreased reabsorption of the gas
due to
Linking Words
 the felling of trees. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective it is readily apparent that global warming is a vicious cycle which initiates with excessive production and unsuccessful reabsorption of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 which are the result of excessive burning of fossils and massive deforestation respectively. The sun is the greatest source of power to our planet, it delivers light, and
heat
Use synonyms
 in electromagnetic waves.
Heat
Use synonyms
 power derived from the sun is absorbed by the ground and water and they emit
this
Linking Words
 power as
heat
Use synonyms
 rays again into the higher atmosphere making the earth cool and comfortable. Vehicles which use burning fossil as their energy source surplus a lot of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
, exceeding the limits that nature can handle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,the exponential amount of
heat
Use synonyms
 emitted into the environment by factories
while
Linking Words
 generating energy through burning hydrocarbons releases
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 ,cutting down trees that are natural detoxifiers of green gases has contributed to
this
Linking Words
 issue in a critical way.These gases form a layer of thick clouds which obstruct the pathway of reflection of
heat
Use synonyms
 from the lower atmosphere to the upper,trapping the warmth within the globe and causing global warming.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, heat with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural process
  • greenhouse effect
  • Earth's surface
  • sun's energy
  • atmosphere
  • reflected
  • absorbed
  • re-radiated
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon dioxide
  • methane
  • nitrous oxide
  • water vapour
  • ultraviolet radiation
  • infrared radiation
  • fossil fuel burning
  • deforestation
  • concentration
  • global warming
  • melting ice caps
  • glaciers
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather patterns
  • mitigating
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