IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness, and trust no longer so important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Being able to obtain
malerialistic
Correct your spelling
materialistic
 items is one of the most desirable dreams
people
Use synonyms
 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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longed
Wrong verb form
longing
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 for. These days,
people
Use synonyms
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
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 tend to interpret other
people
Use synonyms
according to
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 the amount of their
possesion
Correct your spelling
possession
possessions
 and
reputaion
Correct your spelling
reputation
while
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neglect
Change the verb form
neglecting
show examples
 the traditional values in terms of kindness or loyalty.
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views and explain why it is true.
People
Use synonyms
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 only judge someone by their status and
possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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 because of unfair treatment and various social groups.
Firstly
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, poor
people
Use synonyms
 are being treated unequally in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 they are good citizens who contribute to helping the country, they are being underestimated because they do not own any valuable and luxurious things. Beggars,
for example
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, most of them are kind-hearted
people
Use synonyms
 with talents and passion to achieve something in their lifetime;
however
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, they are not even given opportunities to engage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in the first place.
Secondly
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, there are different groups divided in
the
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apply
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society
Use synonyms
. Only wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 have a chance to build
Add an article
a network
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network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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 with each other
whereas
Linking Words
 the least privileged are not welcomed to be part of them and are often overlooked.
As a result
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, even with old
overall
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 qualities,
people
Use synonyms
 without status and fortune, will not be able to have any connection with rich
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are actually being judged by the quality of
Correct pronoun usage
their heart
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heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
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 rather than their wealth because of new social norms. In today's
society
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are more open-minded than ever before to accept and appreciate
people
Use synonyms
 from all family
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
, so
people
Use synonyms
 treat them the way
as
Change preposition
apply
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others too. In conclusion,
this
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 essay has discussed both views on
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 judgements based on materials and fame others own. Despite the
dtrong
Correct your spelling
strong
 arguments from both sides, I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion. If
people
Use synonyms
 still continue doing
such
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
, there will certainly be more and more unfairness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future societies.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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