Q. The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, the

Use synonyms

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

system

suffers

Wrong verb form

has suffered

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a lot

to deal

Change preposition

in dealing

show examples

with modern medical problems. a common opinion is that overweight people

are facing

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

hurdles in reducing their fat and

Add a missing verb

are at

show examples

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

risk state. Physical education

practices

Use synonyms

from school days would help them to deal with

this

Linking Words

issue.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that introducing physical training chapters in a book

avoid

Correct subject-verb agreement

avoids

show examples

putting a strain on their medications.

Initially

Linking Words

, obesity is the most common unhealthy condition for

almost

Rephrase

apply

show examples

many of the folks around us which

gains

Verb problem

causes

show examples

more medical complications. To overcome

this

Linking Words

, crowds should be aware of their physical

health

Use synonyms

by boosting healthy

practices

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as walking, jogging, running, swimming and cycling.

For instance

Linking Words

, educational institutions which follow stringent rules for physique maintenance would allow youngsters to incline more healthy training.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the result can be positive as it satisfies our expectations.

Secondly

Linking Words

, It is widely accepted that many parents raise

dispute

Fix the agreement mistake

disputes

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against physical training lessons

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for

show examples

their children as they think those chapters might ruin their children's studies. Despite

this

Linking Words

, few parents are still concerned about their child's physical life

as well as

Linking Words

mental life. To illustrate, raising awareness campaigns regarding physical

health

Use synonyms

could help parents

Verb problem

apply

show examples

acquire more knowledge on

this

Linking Words

criteria.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

obesity is treatable by

such

Linking Words

outdoor

practices

Use synonyms

, yet many fail to practice it. In conclusion, cardio

practices

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should begin from their school days to live a healthy life till

end

Add an article

the end

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. In my experience, I would like to support physical education courses to be included in the school curriculum so students to live without any errors in their

health

Use synonyms

ananthaprasanthFri Feb 10 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Try to present a clearer outline for your essay, starting with a brief introduction of the main idea, followed by distinct paragraphs for each supporting point, and ending with a strong conclusion.

task achievement

Ensure your ideas are fully developed and explained. Adding more details to your examples and making clear connections between your points and the main argument would strengthen your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to your word choice and sentence structures to avoid minor inaccuracies. For example, phrases like 'physical training chapters in a book' may be clearer if rephrased to 'physical education components in the curriculum.'

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion on the importance of physical education in schools.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument by mentioning the challenges faced due to obesity and the proposed solution.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
health care system
physical education
curriculum
obesity rates
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
fit
overall well-being
fitness levels
engaging activities
inclusive
teamwork
motivation
supportive environment

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Q. The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you thing the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say arts such as music and painting cannot directly improve the quality of people's life, so the government should not put money on art such as music and painting, instead, they should spend more money on construction of public services. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?