It is commonly believed that nowadays the main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s world, many people believe that several factors can affect
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s growth, from media to pop culture
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and interactions with relatives.
While
Linking Words
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
another perspective that family
are play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a dominant role. I will discuss
both
Use synonyms
views in
this
Linking Words
essay. First and foremost, some people believe that several factors are imperative for
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s development which can be from some media, pop culture or even their surroundings.
Children
Use synonyms
nowadays tend to spend much of their leisure time using gadgets for surfing the internet, making it inevitable for them to avoid many interactions with it. Because of that reasons, many young generations are more familiar with reading online or listening to podcasts using Spotify.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is true some of them can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
than only reading
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
the technology enhancement.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, friends
also
Linking Words
can be very crucial because they can communicate intensely, not only in school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
by chatting or video calling after school days.
For example
Linking Words
, they can arrange some zoom meetings with friends to catch up later.
As a result
Linking Words
, their closest friend can be very attached to
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s daily life.
Then
Linking Words
the second view still believes that family have an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s development. In the first place, the family will be the first place for
children
Use synonyms
to rely on and tell many stories.
For example
Linking Words
, in every case that
children
Use synonyms
have been through, their parents have always been there and told it is wrong or not to do certain kinds of things.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s development is really related to how their parents teach and interact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a daily basis, which can shape them to be what
children
Use synonyms
are now.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
children
Use synonyms
will follow their parent’s behaviour,
both
Use synonyms
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
and bad
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,
both
Use synonyms
views have a positive side and can be implemented in
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
’s daily life. Given
this
Linking Words
situation, I recommend that parents try
both
Use synonyms
views to see the effects which can give the best results.
Submitted by fikriyatulfalashifah01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: