IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram demonstrates the steps of producing frozen fish pies.The process comprises two main arms , which
then
Linking Words
 lead to one pathway to give the end product. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective it is readily apparent that the manufacturing of the given food item takes a lengthy process , using
potatoes
Use synonyms
 and fresh
salmon
Use synonyms
 as basic ingredients.
Initially
Linking Words
 treating
potatoes
Use synonyms
 and
salmon
Use synonyms
 take place in two different lines, and processed potato slices are dipped into a
sauce
Use synonyms
 made with seasoned fresh
salmon
Use synonyms
 at one point ,
thereafter
Linking Words
 they follow a similar pathway. Simultaneously,
potatoes
Use synonyms
 and fresh
salmon
Use synonyms
 are delivered to the factory, which is up to one month and 12 hours from harvesting respectively.
Then
Linking Words
potatoes
Use synonyms
 are cleaned using fresh water splinters and
then
Linking Words
 peeled and sliced into chips.These chips are boiled and chilled and stored to be wrapped with
salmon
Use synonyms
 mixed
sauce
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fresh
salmon
Use synonyms
 is seasoned with salt and lemon juice before steaming in an oven.In the next step, skin and bones are removed manually and after ensuring they are thoroughly removed , pre-prepared peas and
sauce
Use synonyms
 are mixed with the salmonAfterwards previously-stored chips are dipped in that particular
sauce
Use synonyms
 .In the succeeding stage,they are packed and frozen prior to being stored and dispatched.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words potatoes, salmon, sauce with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dipped" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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