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Band 4

some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. to what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
Nowadays public think that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spending more
money
 on the
arts
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a waste of
money
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do agree with the statement, Art is not essential for everyone's living there are so many other elements that
Government
 should focus on.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
of
Correct pronoun usage
allof
show examples
 ,
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 should consider our health, education and the economy. There are so many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
 still uneducated and so many are struggling for daily food, so they should spend
money
 on
this
 kind of
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
. First
government
 should bring more public schools and need to provide free education for students, those who are
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low income. In
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 ,world Education is very important.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 Health is
also
 more important for Human Beings.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 number of Public Hospitals are very less,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 who are below the poverty level cannot afford Private hospital fee, so many are dying because of a lack of
money
,
Government
 are responsible for
this
. The solution for
this
 disaster is more Public Hospitals and Give Free treatment. Art is good, it gives Entertainment,fun and Happiness but These are enjoying only
Middle-class
Change preposition
by Middle-class
show examples
People
 or high-class
people
. Low-class
people
 don't have enough
money
 to
spending
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
 spends
money
 on the
arts
 and
also
 they will Charge a fee for most of the
Arts
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
. So in my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 it is a waste of
money
, there is no Equality only a few are Entertating with
Arts
 rest of them is Struggling with their Life. Spending
money
 on above mentioned points is much better than spending
money
 on the
arts
, That will Give more happiness and life to the Majority of
people
.
Submitted by anjualex444 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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