IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Globalization has made it possible for the agricultural sector to expand beyond the boundaries and trade through many
countries
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. A group of people believe that consuming locally grown
foods
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 is much more beneficial both from environmental and economic points of view. I think
while
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 eating local
foods
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 only can improve internal capabilities, the diversity of these products is utterly important in certain areas. On the one hand, certain
countries
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 are lucky to have fertile soil that can produce plentiful
foods
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, regardless of the variety. Having
this
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 advantage in hand, they solely allow local producers to supply the internal food capacity, boosting the revenues
as well as
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 creating a sustainable supply chain for local producers.
For example
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, Switzerland is one of the few democratic
countries
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 that has prohibited the import of plants and fruits that are grown outside of their country
due to
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 economic reasons.
Moreover
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, smart cultivation of plants starts with growing indigenous vegetation.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that local plants do not require any unique treatment or artificial environment to grow,
therefore
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, entailing less damage to the farmlands.
On the other hand
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, radically hindering the export opportunities of
foods
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 that are non-native can bring about some concerns in
countries
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 with harsh weather conditions to grow
foods
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. To illustrate, the people of Russia lack critical nutrients and vitamins
such
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 as C, owing to the insufficient amount of native vegetation.
Thus
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, the import of citrus or tropical fruits or vegetables that are rich in vitamin C, becomes a necessity rather than a luxury. In conclusion,
although
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 it gives a huge advantage in price and local fauna to sustain with locally produced
foods
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, some less fortunate
countries
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 where there is no chance of growing a food or creating versatility, have to rely on products of foreign
countries
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 to meet the internal demand.

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear standpoint on the topic with consistent arguments supporting that position. However, the introduction and conclusion could be further developed to solidify your response. Additionally, including more diverse and explicit examples could enhance the clarity of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear overall structure with well-organized paragraphs. To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, and try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Furthermore, ensure consistency in your writing style throughout to enhance the flow of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmentally friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • long-distance transportation
  • biodiversity
  • pesticides
  • fertilizers
  • local economy
  • sustainability
  • feasible
  • diverse range
  • food choices
  • cultural identity
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