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Band 4.5

In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year-old children?

#countries #people #privileges #responsibilities #age #sixteen #parents #responsibility #care #children #approach #milestone #lives
Parenting is one of the major
milestone
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milestones
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 of human
being
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beings
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 especially for their 14 to 15 years old
children
 because adolescence is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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the revolutionary stage of human life.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
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 parents have a major role to stabilize their
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. In
this
 essay, I will explain
this
 subject with
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples. To start with everything you don't need law and affection
whereas
 these emotions
makes
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make
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 them a better human
for example
according to
 piazza the
world famous
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world-famous
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 child psychologist dimension that
children
 develop more humanistic and empathetic value
unconditional
Correct word choice
and unconditional
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 love
moreover
there
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their
show examples
 guidance in
calculate
Wrong verb form
calculating
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 cultural nome social values and civic responsibilities for the instance
a
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apply
show examples
healthy parenting brings some good code of conduct and the principles in their teenage life
in addition
 without any proper orientation
children
 cannot understand what is good and what is bad in their surroundings in which prompt the bad choice and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
decisions.
On the other hand
,
a
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apply
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responsible and
well mannered
Add a hyphen
well-mannered
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 parenting help
children
 away from bad habits like
a
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apply
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drug addiction criminal conduct and alcoholism.
For example
,
According to
 the American
psychological
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Psychological
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 Association,
research
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a research
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 study on world child serial killers
point
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points
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 out that ,85% of juveniles are made upon their family circumstances
whereas
 they are traumatized through bad parenting .
However
, healthy nurturing
stimulate
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stimulates
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 good aspects of social actions especially during 14 to 15 years of age because teenagers are
the
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at the
show examples
 most difficult and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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submissive stage of life. So every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
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nees
Correct your spelling
need
needs
 a happy and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prosperous family with good parents. In conclusion,
family
Correct article usage
the family
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 is one of the most
influencing
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influential
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 social
institution
Change to a plural noun
institutions
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 among
childre
Correct your spelling
children
 in which parents are the real engineers of it.
For instance
, it is their responsibility to bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
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physically
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physical
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 and
a
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apply
show examples
mentally
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mental
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well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
children
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to children
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for
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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