Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, with the evolution of technology and the internet, the youth are spending most of their daily time on their smartphones.
This
phenomenon is
due to
multiple reasons that will be elaborated on in
this
essay,
as well as
why I personally claim that
this
development has a negative impact on children.
To begin
with, there are multiple factors that drive children to spend hours on technology. One of them would be the entertainment found on social media, which makes them addicted to scrolling through the internet. To illustrate, a recent study I have read
lately
Rephrase
apply
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proves that social media platforms are designed to increase people's consumption of the content posted online, which explains why most kids cannot get off their phones.
Moreover
, parents offer smartphones to their kids from an early age to occupy their free time
instead
of motivating them to go outside.
Thus
, all these reasons contribute to
this
current phenomenon. So why do I claim that
this
development has a negative impact ?
Firstly
,
this
development leads to addiction in most cases because children are exposed to these technological devices from an early age.
Secondly
, kids who spend their days on their phones are often impacted negatively regarding their studies and academic achievements, making them lazier and less motivated to study and focus.
For example
, a smartphone was given to my sister when she was 10 years old, which made her addicted and
therefore
, her school grades dropped significantly.
Consequently
, technology should be used prudently. To summarize, most factors leading to
this
serious phenomenon are provoked by adults who are
unconscious
Correct word choice
unaware
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of the damage it might have on the youth, and I personally envision that social media should be restricted before the age of 18 years old to limit its drawbacks.
Submitted by gongrongrong on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and statistics to support your claims more effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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